Part One: Finding my Hips

I have been doing yoga since I was 12, on and off. That's almost 12 years, now. I took a too-long haitus recently because I was "too busy" -- the nice way of saying "lazy," I suppose -- and recently started back at it. I knew I had lost some flexibility. I knew I had lost some strength. But what I didn't realize was I had also lost my hips.

My hips! I couldn't find them, either by touch (too much fat) or with my legs. "Spread your legs hip-width apart" meant nothing to me. Nothing felt right. I got scared that my pelvis, like my motivation and stamina, had left me when I ignored it. No bone structure likes to go unnoticed, after all.

After a brief freak out and some Dove chocolate, I started slow. I used every motion deliberately to find my hips again. They were tight. All the tension of graduate school and being away from family had migrated to my hips. There's lot of space there, if you think about it. Sure, there are organs, but I certainly am not using my uterus right now -- might as well fill it up with that paper I didn't do so well on, or the birthdays I keep missing, right? I tried pose after pose, sequence after sequence, and still, nothing felt right*.

Then I realized that if I was going to focus on my hips, I'd better *focus on my hips*. This meant that whatever I did should be supported -- aka, there should be something underneath my back. So I did bound-angle pose, put a bolster (really, a folded-in-half body pillow) right up to my butt, and laid back onto it. My back was tight at first, but slowly I melted into the pose. I almost literally melted into the pose. I breathed into my hips and that paper fell away. I breathed into my hips and the birthdays dissipated with my exhale. I breathed into my hips ..... and found my hips again. My body felt whole once more.

It's still a struggle, sometimes, to find my hips. There's such a big space between that I still sometimes fill with tension. But if I start every practice with this supported reclining bound-angle pose, the rest of my practice is more focused. I wasn't so worried about my hips running off again.

*If you are wondering, good poses for your hips include pigeon, bound-angle pose, triangle pose, and warrior poses to name a few.